When I first laid eyes on Attachment Theory I fell passionately in love- borderline enmeshed- with the history, science, and relevance of its vast conjectures.
I immersed myself into any and all material I could get my hands on. Any knowledge I came across left me thirsty for more . Just as a seed grows from each droplet of water it receives, my research and practice grows expansively with each ‘droplet’ of research that comes across my desk.
Born from the brilliant-minds of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth (Ainsworth & Bowlby, 1991), Attachment Theory is used today to help us understand why and how humans connect. Beginning with our early attachment with a mother-figure (Bowlby, 1958), to our adult attachment to a romantic partner (Weiss, 1982, 1991), these relationships form the ‘secure-bases’ that are vital for our growth and resilience as humans.
It is now commonly known that our desire to connect is innately wired within us- without connection, we do not survive, or thrive, as a species.
Attachment Theory has rooted my journey to cultivate my role as Daughter, Friend, Wife, Mother, and Therapist.
I am inclined to believe that I have grown to become securely attached to Attachment Theory. It has become my secure-base within the field of mental wellness that I can safely reach-out, explore, expand from… and then safely return to when I feel uneasy and off-kilter with the expansiveness of Human Psychology.
To effectively attune to others (which is the inception of healthy attachment), and become a secure-base to others, I must unearth my safe spaces, my people, to ‘come home to’. To become a secure-base one must have a secure-base; the circle of wellness.
Ainsworth, M. D. S., & Bowlby, J. (1991), An ethological approach to personality development. American Psychologist, 46, 331-341.
Bowlby, J. (1958), The nature of the child’s tie to his mother. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, XXXIX, 1-23.
Weiss, R. S. (1982). Attachment in adult life. In C. M. Parkes & J. Stevenson-Hinde (Eds.), The place of attachment in human behavior (pp. 111-184). New York: Wiley.
Weiss, R. (1991). The attachment bond in childhood and adulthood. In C. M. Parkes, J. Stevenson-Hinde, & P. Marris (Eds.), Attachment across the life cycle (pp. 66-76), London: Routledge.